Walter Wednesdays - March 29, 2023
Welcome back to Walter Wednesdays, we hope you had a fantastic week! Thank you for reading!
Welcome back to Walter Wednesdays, we hope you had a fantastic week! Thank you for reading!
Speaking of Tweaking - Tweaker of the Week
Florida man Ortelio Lazaro Alfonso, 39, has been arrested after a domestic disturbance after slapping his wife across the face….with a slice of pizza. The Marion County Sheriff’s office reported the victim has “remnants of pizza” in her hair and pizza sauce on the walls and ceiling. Alfonso was charged with battery and released.
Art Piece - Emberlynn Coltrane
YuuyaKZMI’s Game Review Twitter: @YuuyaKZMI
Super Metroid is my favorite game and in my opinion the best game of all time. Maybe not the most recognized, but it was one of if not the first games to introduce speedrunning, and it has been standing the test of time since it was released.
When it comes to the story, the protagonist is Samus Aran, a bounty hunter (in the title only to be honest). After the complete eradication of the Metroids on SR388, except for one larva Metroid (in Metroid II for the GB), she brought the creature to the Ceres Space Station for research.
Apparently, it could be used for the good of civilization; however, Space Pirates attacked the station, and Samus’s nemesis from the first game on the NES returned to steal the baby Metroid that Samus delivered.
Samus has to promptly escape the Space Station before it explodes.
Afterward, she returns to the planet Zebes from the first game, to try and find the baby Metroid.
… That’s basically the story.
Without spoiling too much, the game has a progressive system where items are obtained along the way.
(As you can see, there is a missile upgrade on the right.)
A variety of beam upgrades, suit upgrades, etc. are available, and it’s much more fun to find them yourself rather than for me to tell you what they are out loud.
The game introduces a momentum engine that works very well, and movement tech when practiced is very satisfying.
Wall jumping is one of the most broken things in the game and can make the game much easier when practiced well. You don’t need two walls for it, you just need one, as the momentum engine of the game lets you move backward. You don’t need any special items, either. You just need some dexterity and a wall.
Now, wall jumping and the momentum engine (along with some other upgrades that help) aren’t the main premise of the game. They are additions both as quality of life and as speedrun tactics.
The main idea of Super Metroid is to progress further along the planet Zebes to find that baby Metroid. And it’s not exactly easy to do. A lot of the areas are locked behind items you need from other areas to progress.
Even if it’s a very solid game, no solid game is perfect. There’s one specific area I dread to this day.
Maridia is possibly the worst thing in Super Metroid; everything looks the same and it is easy to get lost. Not only that, but it’s a water level. (Thankfully, you don’t have to deal with the physics when you get a suit in another area..)
The upsides are that it has the two best items in the entire game, which I won’t name.
This is a game best experienced rather than heard about, so I implore with that detail in mind you play it for yourself. Trust me, it will be worth it.
The Fort Fisher Hermit - Robert Harrill
Born in Shelby, North Carolina on February 2, 1893, Robert Harrill would often spend his days in the woods to escape his abusive parents. In 1913, he’d marry Katie Hamrick and the two would have five children together. Their eldest son committed suicide and in the 1930s the family would fall apart due to Harrill’s mental health problems. After the divorce, his wife and in-laws committed him to a mental hospital where he used a spoon as a lockpick to escape the hospital. After leaving the hospital, Harrill hitchhiked 260 miles to the coast where he was arrested and sent back to Shelby. The next summer, Harrill hitchhiked back to Fort Fisher and made his home in an abandoned World War II bunker near the Cape Fear River.
Though the term hermit is usually reserved for those living in isolation, Harrill the hermit was far from alone with his guest book, a notebook held down by seashells, recorded over 100,000 guests from all fifty states and twenty foreign countries. He took donations in a frying pan he left outside and made a small vegetable garden which made up most of his diet. Harrill was arrested multiple times on vagrancy charges and would defend himself in court each time and did so successfully most times. But many people came to see Harrill for his wisdom and philosophy, which he would explain to the New Hanover Sun in 1968,
“Everybody ought to be a hermit for a few minutes to an hour or so every 24 hours, to study, meditate, and commune with their creator…millions of people want to do just what I’m doing, but since it is much easier thought of than done, they subconsciously elect me to represent them, that’s why I’m successful…,”
On a Sunday morning in June 1972, a group of teenagers found his body on the beach, covered in sand, blood, and wounds. The coroner ruled the cause of death to be a heart attack and despite rumors of a possible murder, an investigation was never done.
On what would have been Harrill’s 100th birthday, The Hermit society was founded to ensure the story of Robert Harrill, the Fort Fisher Hermit was never forgotten. The Hermit Society was run by his son Edward Harrill until he died in 2007 and after his death members elected Fred Pickler, a former friend of the hermit, to fill in the spot.
News Briefings
Nashville, Tennessee - On Monday a shooter opened fire at The Covenant School, a Presbyterian Elementary school south of Nashville. Six were killed including three students. Cynthia Peak, 61; Katherine Koonce, 60; Mike Hill, 61; and Evelyn Dieckhaus, Hallie Scruggs, and William Kinney all age 9. Police officers killed the shooter on the scene. The shooter, identified as Audrey Hale, 28, bought seven firearms before the shooting from five different stores. Hale was killed after officers clearing the building returned fire. No motive has been found but Hale had a map of the school with a planned route among other writings at Hale’s house.
Following the shooting, the satire news site The Onion published an article titled ‘No Way To Prevent This,‘ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens. The Onion publishes this article following every mass shooting in America with the same title with the article sometimes being published multiple times in the same month or even the same week.
Mexico - Migrants set their mattresses on fire at a detention center in northern Mexico on Monday out of fears of deportation. The fire killed 38. “They never imagined that this would cause this terrible misfortune,” Mexico’s President Andrés Manuel López Obrador said.
North Korea - North Korea leader Kim Jong Un has called for his nuclear scientists to increase production of the material used to make bombs and other weapons. Photos of the meeting also showed a small tactical warhead that could fit into a variety of delivery systems. This followed a series of missile launches (seven this month) and threats from Kim Jong Un to use his weapons against his enemies.
Russia - A Russian court on Tuesday convicted a 54-year-old single father over social media posts critical of the war in Ukraine and sentenced him to two years in prison. The case was brought against him after his daughter’s drawings in school opposed the invasion. Alexei Moskalyov fl house arrest before his verdict was delivered and is still at large. His 13-year-old daughter Maria has been taken by the authorities and placed in an orphanage writing a letter to her dad telling him, “Daddy, you’re my hero.”
On the Bright Side
A cow born on a dairy farm is brightening people’s days as Happy the cow was born with a smiley face on one side of the body. “We’ve seen some number sevens or love hearts on the head, and a few strange markings, but we’ve never seen anything that resembles a smiley face before,” Mrs. Megan Coster told ABC Australia. Instead of joining the farm’s mating herd, Happy and his unique markings have landed a spot as a kind of mascot for the farm.
Today in History
In 1790, John Tyler, the tenth President of the United States was born.
In 1799, Edward Smith-Stanley, the fourteenth Earl of Derby, was born.
In 1824, Ludwig Büchner, a German physician and philosopher was born.
In 1847, United States forces led by General Winfield Scott took Veracruz in the Mexican-American War.
In 1849, the United Kingdom annexed Punjab.
In 1867, Queen Victoria gave Royal Assent to the British North America Act, allowing for Canada’s independence months later.
In 1889, Warner Baxter, winner of the Best Actor award at the second Academy Awards, was born. He was best known for his role as the Cisco Kid in the 1928 film In Old Arizona.
In 1927, the Sunbeam 1000HP became the first car to travel over 200mph, breaking the land speed record at Daytona Beach, Florida.
In 1941, the British Royal Navy and Royal Australian Navy forces defeated the Italian Regia Marina off the coast of Greece.
In 1961, the Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, allowing citizens in Washington, D.C. to vote in elections.
In 1973, the last United States soldiers left South Vietnam.
In 1974, the Mariner 10 became the first space probe to pass Mercury.
In 1999, the Dow Jones closed above the 10,000 mark for the first time in history during the height of the dot-com bubble.
In 2010, two suicide bombers hit the Moscow Metro during the morning rush hour, killing forty.
In 2017, Prime Minister Theresa May invoked Article Fifty, beginning the UK’s withdrawal from the European Union.
Improbable Interviews
Q: What is your name?
A: Droobie.
Q: What do you do for work?
A: Deliver lumps of dough and cheese to people.
Q: What is your favorite hobby?
A: Being a sweaty nerd on apex.
Q: How many Orbeez could you eat in one sitting?
A: Couldn’t tell you. When I get home my bathtub is full of them and it’s empty when I go to sleep.
Q: What do you have to say about the allegations that you have plastic babies in your locker?
A: I’ve never heard such a thing.
Bonus Question: Right Drew?
Answer: Correct.
“Put the uno cards AWAY!” - Mariah Nelson
The Fort Fisher Hermit will always have a place in my heart!