Walter Wednesdays - November 29, 2023
Walter Fact: Follow the money
Speaking of Tweaking - Tweaker of the Week
Speaking of Tweaking, a 26-year-old man was arrested after he stripped down to his underwear and climbed through the “It’s a Small World” attraction at Disneyland. He eventually made his way outside the ride where he then finished stripping nude before being arrested.
The man was arrested on charges of indecent exposure and being under the influence of a controlled substance.
Maybe he wanted everyone to see how small his “world” is.
Oh, you thought there was more? No, that’s it. Probably the most normal day in Florida too. Since that one was pretty short, pun intended, let’s go to Iowa City.
54-year-old Kenneth Kelly was arrested for pleasuring himself at the local Kum & Go convenience store. What an unfortunate name for a store. Kelly followed customers around making sexual comments before pleasuring himself in the store. After his arrest, he told officers that he was merely scratching an itch.
Kelly was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.
What’s Walter Thinking About?
Ozzy Osbourne is….weird. Not only is he proof that you can do every drug under the sun and still live to see 74, but he also- oh where do I begin- the man ate a bat. January 20, 1982, in Des Moines, Iowa 17-year-old Mark Neal threw a bat on stage which Ozzy bit the head off of, and had to get Rabies shots afterwards. According to Neal, the bat had been dead for two weeks already so isn’t that just a lovely thought? Ozzy also bit the head off of a live Dove a year before that bat incident so do with that information what you will. He did state in an interview that he thought the bat was just a fake plastic one and didn’t realize until it was too late but I don’t see how you could mistake a real bat for plastic. He also described it as tasting salty.
Oh, he also gave up taking acid after he talked to a horse for an hour. “I took 10 tabs of acid and then went for a walk in a field. I ended up standing there talking to this horse for about an hour. In the end, the horse turned round and told me to fuck off. That was it for me.” To which I say, do you know how much/how often you have to do acid for 10 tables to last only an hour? Ocean Recovery states that the effect of acid can last anywhere from 6 to 15 hours with 24 hours needed to fully stop feeling the effects. So for 10 tablets to last an hour, Ozzy had to have been doing acid daily, up until the horse spoke to him.
In a recent interview with Rolling Stone Ozzy said that he has 10 years left to live at best. And while that might be true, he’s had 10 years left since the 80’s so who knows? Maybe he’ll still be biting the heads off of animals at 104 years old.
Today in History
1777 - San Jose, California was founded.
1830 - An armed rebellion against Russia’s rule in Poland began.
1877 - Thomas Edison demonstrated his phonograph for the first time.
1929 - U.S. Admiral Richard E. Byrd led the first expedition to fly over the South Pole.
1945 - The Federal People’s Republic of Yugoslavia is declared.
1947 - The United Nations General Assembly approved a plan for the partition of Palestine.
1952 - President-elect Dwight D. Eisenhower fulfilled a campaign promise by traveling to Korea to find out what could be done to end the conflict.
1961 - Enos, a chimpanzee, was launched into space. The spacecraft circled the Earth twice before landing off the coast of Puerto Rico.
1963 - President Lyndon B. Johnson established the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
1972 - Atari released Pong, the first commercially successful video game.
“‘I Want to Hold Your Hand was released by the Beatles’ I’m not putting that in Walter Wednesdays, the Beatles Suck.” - Walter