Walter Wednesdays - October 25, 2023
Walter Fact: You can't throw a brick, it's too heavy. Try a can of soup instead.
Welcome back to Walter Wednesdays, a place where people slowly going mad are summoned weekly.
Speaking of Tweaking - Tweaker of the Week
Speaking of tweaking, a Missouri teacher has been placed on leave after officials discovered her account on the pornography site Onlyfans to supplement her salary.. 28-year-old Brianna Coppage said she chose Onlyfans because the content is only available to subscribers and she thought that would help protect her identity. Which raised another question, who found the account? Because it’s a weird situation where you’d have to go out of your way to find the account meaning whoever reported it, was also looking for it.
“I’m very aware that I am probably never going to teach again, but that was kind of the risk I knew I was taking. I am sad about that. I do miss my students,” Coppage said, per AP News.
Though, credit where credit is due, she stated that she makes about $8,000 - $10,000 a month. She also stated that since word about her account surfaced, she has gained over 100 new subscribers so maybe it was some weird publicity stunt. That was half a joke and half serious because in today’s world you just never know.
Air Traffic Control
Japan Airlines was forced to add an extra flight amid fears that sumo wrestler passengers would make the plane too heavy. No, I am not lying, here’s the link. The group of wrestlers weighed around 275 pounds each and were on their way to a competition. Now, they were already split between two flights but even so, an extra flight was added. Airline spokesperson Minami-Nippon Shimbun said that it was “extremely rare for us to operate special flights for weight restrictions.”
In other airline news, a man purchased three extra seats so his Great Dane named Darwin could fit comfortably on the flight. Now before you say anything, Darwin is a service dog and was also too big to fit in a crate that could go under the plane. Darwin’s owner, Gabriel, found that if you have a service dog, no matter the size, they are technically allowed on the plane. Man, I love a good loophole.
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But the flight stories don’t end there as an off-duty pilot has been accused of trying to bring down an Alaska Airlines flight. Joseph Emerson, 44, told investigators he had not slept for forty hours and was having a nervous breakdown; he also admitted to using psychedelic mushrooms. The FBI is investigating if Emerson was under the influence when he tried to shut down the plane’s engines while sitting in the cockpit. Emerson was in the flight deck jump seat which is permitted for pilots commuting between airports.
It was Emerson’s first time taking mushrooms and said he didn’t feel okay, stating he was tired and dehydrated. “It seemed like the pilots weren't paying attention to what was going on,” Emerson stated, “I pulled both emergency shut off handles because I thought I was dreaming and I just wanna wake up," he added.
Emerson is being held in an Oregon jail on 167 charges, including 83 counts of attempted murder.
What’s Walter Thinking About?
I hate a stupid question. I don’t mean a dumb question where you can see where the person’s confusion is coming from but like a genuinely stupid question. I’ll give you an example. That dumb “Would you rather have dinner with Jay Z or $500,000?” Who- who the hell is picking dinner with Jay Z over $500,000? What’s he going to teach me? How to cheat on Beyoncé? I don’t think you fully undersand, even Jay Z said to take the money. Though, he also said to use the money to buy his records because his wisdom is already there. To which I say, get over yourself. Jay Z looks like someone tried to draw a horse from memory. How did someone with the ugly pull Beyoncé AND CHEAT ON HER?
I also hate it when people worship celebrities. What do you mean you want to see the Taylor Swift movie? Aahh a white woman, we haven’t seen that a million times before. Sorry, I just can’t stand that department-store ass music. They are not your friends, they are rich assholes. How many articles have been written about celebrities being mean to fans, staff, family, etc? And why do you all keep listening? Maybe Jada Smith would stop spouting bullshit if you all would stop listening. I think that once you get rich and you get to play life on easy mode (must be nice to hoard all that money while the modern-day peasants slave away in cubicles average person gets to experience the “best economic system in history”) then you revert back to being a middle schooler and caring only about drama.
How about this? New rule: no one likes, shares, or comments on any posts from any celebrities for a week. They’re in time-out.
Today in History
1861 - The Toronto Stock Exchange was created.
1868 - The Uspenski Cathedral was inaugurated in Helsinki, Finland.
1917 - The Old Style date of the October Revolution in Russia.
1920 - After a 74-day hunger strike in Brixton Prison, England, Terence MacSwiney died.
1940 - Benjamin O. Davis Sr. was named the first African-American general in the United States Army.
1945 - The Japanese administration of Taiwan ended as the Republic of China assumed control.
1862 - Adlai Stevenson showed the United Nations Security Council reconnaissance photographs of Soviet missiles in Cuba.
1971 - The People’s Republic of China replaced the Republic of China.
1973 - Egypt and Israel accepted United Nations Security Council Resolution 339.
1983 - The U.S. and Caribbean allies invaded Grenada, six days after Prime Minister Maurice Bishop and his supporters were executed in a coup.
1990 - The Kazakh Soviet Socialist Republic declared its sovereignty from the Soviet Union.
2001 - Windows XP was released.
“Did you learn about Jonestown?” - Cini