Walter Wednesdays - November 1, 2023
Walter Fact: The orange crayons don't taste orange!
Speaking of Tweaking - Tweaker of the Week
Speaking of Tweaking, Elon Musk wants Twitter to be a dating service. Per Business Insider, Muskrat stated in a company-wide meeting on the year anniversary of his taking over Twitter that Twitter will be a fully-fledged dating site in 2024. He also said that it will be a digital bank because… why not?
I don’t understand the man, and I won’t pretend to either. According to two people present for the meeting, who have remained anonymous as they weren’t allowed to speak to the press, Elongated Muskrat didn’t say if there was a demand for the dating app or banking features and didn’t go into detail on how it’d be done. He also referred to Twitter videos in the meeting as “x videos” which don’t- don’t google that.
You’ll notice I’m not calling it X and still calling it Twitter, that’s because Walter Wednesdays is the only news source that stands for anything right. And that includes your god-given right to call it Twitter. Other platforms say “…X, formally known as Twitter.” What do you mean “formally?” You’re the one being weird, the rest of us still just call it Twitter.
A Year of Walter Wednesdays
Believe it or not, it has already been a year since Walter Wednesdays published its first post. It was a short and simple post detailing what was to come and since then we’ve added more sections in the past year to cover everything from cryptids to the famed Tweaker of the Week. So with that being said, thank you all for continuing to read this nonsense. Now, because I can, I’m going to make a list of my favorite parts from some of our posts.
The story of the Fort Fisher Hermit covered in our March 29, 2023 post.
https://waltersway.substack.com/p/walter-wednesdays-march-29-2023
And of all the Tweakers of the Week, my favorite is you, the reader. But seriously, it was the guy who dressed up as a clown and then smoked meth at a Waffle House. What an icon.
https://waltersway.substack.com/p/walter-wednesdays-april-12-2023
What’s Walter Thinking About?
Well, we the people asked for healthcare and to have politicians young enough to know what a PDF is and instead we got… a new nuclear bomb. The B61-13 nuclear gravity bomb is proposed to be 24 times stronger than the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The bomb has a 360-kiloton blast compared to a 15-kiloton blast in the bombs dropped on Japan. Now, it hasn’t been signed by Congress yet but considering just about every member of Congress owns stock in multiple defense contractors it’ll be approved in no time.
The Pentagon said that the new bomb will “strengthen deterrence of adversaries” because I guess our already expansive stockpile of nuclear weapons wasn’t enough. What’s the difference between a nuke and a bigger nuke? Price and civilian casualties. Aw, that was depressing. But seriously, why are we trying to reinvent the wheel- uh- nuke here? We also stopped testing our nukes because we already know the damn things work (and we signed a lot of treaties about nuclear testing but Putin threw them out so.)
Today in History
1604 - William Shakespeare’s tragedy Othello was performed for the first time.
1611 - Shakespeare’s play The Tempest was performed for the first time.
1765 - The British Parliament enacted the Stamp Act on the Thirteen Colonies.
1800 - John Adams became the first president to live in the Executive Mansion which was later renamed to the White House.
1805 - Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Austria.
1848 - The first medical school for women, the Boston Female Medical School, opened.
1870 The Weather Bureau (now the National Weather Service) made its first official forecast.
1894 - Buffalo Bill, 15 of his Native Americans, and Annie Oakley were filmed by Thomas Edison.
1894 - A picture showing the bare breasts of a woman appeared in National Geographic.
1897 - The first Library of Congress building opened its doors to the public.
1918 - Western Ukraine separated from Austria-Hungary.
1937 - Stalinists execute Pastor Paul Hamberg and seven members of Azerbaijan’s Lutheran community.
1951 - Operation Buster-Jangle: Six thousand five hundred U.S. Army soldiers are exposed to atomic explosions for training purposes in Nevada. Participation was not voluntary.
1952 - The U.S. successfully tested Ivy Mike, the first thermonuclear device.
1957 - The Mackinac Bridge, the world’s longest suspension bridge at the time, opened in Michigan.
1968 - The Motion Picture Association of America’s film rating system is officially introduced with ratings of G, M, R, and X.
1982 - Honda became the first Asian automobile company to produce cars in the United States.
1993 - The European Union was established after the Maastricht Treaty.
"Dylan's the kind of person you wouldn't normally notice is there until something's been mysteriously set on fire." - Adler